Feeding the Muse, Living Now

The great thing about getting
stuck in your work is that it
makes you stop.  Stop and sit
with whatever is holding you
back.

When you learn to sit
with the uncomfortableness
(big mouthful here) of what
you are NOT doing, you begin
to figure out ways to feed
your muse.

The way that is most effective
for me is to practice my intuitive
painting.  Even though sometimes
I have to sit in that mud puddle
that is my painting is, not wallowing
in the sweetness, but feeling the
mud seep into my pores, sinking
me into the earth, movement
always shows up, even in ways I
might not expect.

I started this painting…

As a kind of tropical flower
on one page(which of course
I neglected to photograph), but
it transformed into this eight page
being-ness of sorts.

Anyway, the feeding part is the important part.
It doesn’t matter at all what this looks like, not a
lick, I don’t even have to like it, because the
painting of it, the getting my body in tune
with the paint, my hands, the brush, my hands
masking tape, my hands, paint, see, it doesn’t
matter at all.

Losing myself in the paint
is what feeds the muse, what
energized me to continue
to paint, to create beyond
this painting, these hands,
this brush, this breath.

Feeding my soul, my muse
one color at a time, one hand print
at a time, one moment of wallowing
in the sweetness of that paint, of living.

Layering, layering
layering and filling
up my muse to overflowing
so I can just get on with whatever
in my life wants to be doing, making,
feeding, playing, praying.

On this day of all days, 9/11/11
the most important
thing I can do to honor the sanctity of this
memory, of all those lost, all those left behind,
is to live each minute, use it up, fully, completely
in the NOW.  Create whatever I bring into this
world in the NOW, with my heart on my sleeve,
with truth and integrity.  Love fiercely and fully,
give to my friends, and be a true person in this
world, this now and forever.

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